Staring at these 4 walls again
*note: I wrote this in April of 2020. We had received our "stay-at-home" mandate and were trying to figure out how to navigate this new Covid reality. We thought it would be 2 weeks.....I remember back in 2008 when the housing market crumbled around our ears and more and more we were spending time at home. People couldn’t get loans to move. There was no upgrading to some place better. Money was tight and we were stuck to stare at these four walls. Now, 12 years later we are sequestered in our homes, staring at “these four walls” again. The circumstances then, and now, are very different but there are some things that are the same; the fear, the worry, the not knowing and the wondering what will happen.
Interestingly, beginning in 2008 and for the next number of years we saw the real estate and building trades suffer incredibly, our favorite shelter magazines disappeared from print and yet interior design seemed to weather the storm. Here’s my theory;
It is our job and our joy to make your spaces work for you. They need to function and they need to make you feel good. Beginning in 2008 as we were forced to “love the one you’re with” so to speak, unable to relocate, we became more aware of our home environments and our desire to make them our sanctuary grew. If we have to stay here, let’s make it good!
How does it feel to be staring at your own “four walls”?
By now, you have had some extended time in your home; what do you notice? Do you love it? Does it love you back? Are you comfortable, comforted, soothed, delighted, grateful? If yes, I am so glad!!
Perhaps all of this togetherness with your home has brought up an opposite sort of internal response? Are you uncomfortable, cramped, stressed, annoyed, claustrophobic, underwhelmed? If yes, we can help!!
I was reading about Melissa McCarthy in People magazine while waiting for my son’s wisdom teeth to be removed last Friday. The interview talked about how her home is a sanctuary from the world. Her family leaves their cell phones at the door, has dance-offs in the kitchen, chases the dogs and it seems that there is always someone whizzing by on a wheeled scooter. Utter chaos. Pure joy. This is happiness to her! Some of you may be reading and thinking, “Ya, that sounds like sheer hell to me…” I feel you, and her. Now that my youngest child is a senior in high school I look happily forward to that peaceful and serene empty nest but when my brood of four was little (4 kids in 5 years y’all) I had friends call them “the Wolf pack”. Spirited chaos was my jam!! Melissa McCarthy makes a point to have her home be a place of shelter and safety and silly happiness from a world that can be wearying or even brutal at times.
If you close your eyes and imagine your home as your own personal sanctuary, what does it look, sound, smell and feel like? How is it lit? Softly, brightly? How does it smell? Like sauteing garlic and onions? Freshly baked cookies or freshly brewed coffee? A fragrant bouquet of Stargazer lilies or maybe French lavender? How about the sound? Quiet? Rain on the metal roof? The crackle of the fireplace? An epic sound system playing Steely Dan or Taylor Swift (oh, wait, that’s my house!). What does it look like? Is there art everywhere or fresh, bare walls? House plants? House pets? French country? Scandi Modern? Eclectic? Shabby but oh-so chic? And what does it feel like? Is it velvet sofas and fur blankets? Nubby tweed upholstery? Down cushions, buttery soft leather recliners? Wood or metal or both? Floor pillows? Firm seating, squishy seating? Patterns or plain? Color or none? All of this goes into how your house feels and therefore, how YOU feel in it.
How you feel in your space goes way beyond looks. All of your senses engage to make up that visceral response and inform us about how we FEEL in our environment. Sight/aesthetics, sound/acoustics, touch, scent, temperature. Each plays an important role in how we experience our homes. Each of these sensory experiences can trigger positives and negatives based on preference, life experience or memories. For me, my grandparent’s chairs evoke nostalgia, love and comfort. For you maybe it is the scent of french roast coffee brewing that washes you with optimism knowing that drinking that cup of coffee is a treasured daily ritual that allows you to connect with your partner in conversation or your internal self in meditative thought.
A number of years ago, we bought a big old beautiful brick Tudor house. I was so excited about what it would become but in the beginning, I would walk from room to room and feel like I had been aesthetically assaulted. The bones were gorgeous, the 1980’s blue flowered wallpaper complete with border, not so much. I realized very quickly that I needed ONE room that was “done”. A place I could retreat to and be refreshed when the chaos of the project felt overwhelming. That was my bedroom. At the time, my 4 kids were little and I needed (desperately!) to be able to have that space to be refreshed, unwind and recharge. I went ahead and painted right over that wallpaper (using an oil-based primer so that the paper didn’t bubble from the water content of the paint. I was too impatient to steam remove it!), brought in the bookcases and filled them artfully with books arranged by color and framed photos, set up the two armchairs my grandparents had bought with green stamps and then splurged on some bohemian style bedding that Anthropologie had on clearance. Phew!. Heaven. Throughout the weeks and months after as I worked my way through that house and lovingly updated and decorated, I would retreat to those red chairs in my bedroom with coffee or lunch or a visiting friend and be filled with what I needed to go back to the project/housework/living life with small children. That room became my sanctuary. I smile at the photo of that room now because it was not showy or impressive in any way, but it was my sanctuary.
Do you have this kind of place? Is there a window seat where you can sip your tea (or your Quarantini) or cuddle your dog and look out on your yard or neighborhood? Is it your kitchen, stirring or whisking and mixing? Your bedroom, surrounded by comfy pillows, feet propped up? We all need that space.
If you are finding yourself now, like I once did, walking from room to room thinking (and feeling) UGH! We can help. In fact, we would LOVE to help.
Sometimes it is really the smallest things that can change everything. New throw pillows. Decluttering. A fresh coat of wall paint. An indoor tree or houseplants on stands. A scented candle. An area rug. Even rearranging the furniture that you’ve lived with for eons can give you a “Christmas morning” vibe where it all feels new again.
Here’s how we can help:
-Virtual-design: Send us pictures and floor plans (we’ll teach you!) and we can design your space from a safe distance. You will receive “mood boards” showing you the overall look, specific furniture recommendations, color and even art and decor if you wish. First, we will spend some time asking questions and hearing from you about what you love, hate and want to spend. From there we can create an entire room design using online vendors: you can purchase products and furnishings and have them delivered straight to your door (on any budget I might add). If you want us to do all of the ordering, we are happy to do that too.
-Zoom consult: We will walk through your spaces virtually and we will brainstorm and collaborate in real time to give you help and direction to get you started on your house refresh.
-Virtual Home Styling: From a safe distance, aka via Skype, we can direct you in styling and rearranging your space like we do for our real estate clients. How often have you heard “why didn’t I do this years ago? I probably wouldn’t be moving! We can do that for you!
As I was gathering pictures around that theme of what sanctuary looks like for me; I see some definite themes…..The dog, a fire in the fireplace, candles, delicious food, the beauty of the outdoors, my sweetheart and cocktails. Who knew? The beauty of my sanctuary is, at it’s core, emotional. It is how I FEEL. It’s connection and experience first.
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